Reading Di's journal

reminded me of what I find so darn infuriating about internet relationships. I like to argue face to face. I hate to argue, mind you. I enjoy debate, which to me is the airing and defending (intellectually) of different viewpoints with someone in an atmosphere of interest and mutual respect. We all know what arguments are. Fights. I hate to fight. I even hate listening to fights. Hate it in my gut. Not sure why; childhood trauma perhaps? But the problem with online fights is it's impossible to fix them to my satisfaction. Even in real life, if I quarrel with someone I cannot STAND settling it over the phone. It feels unsettled. I need body language. I need to see the person's face as either I or they apologize (this seems a constant in my quarrels...that's normal, isn't it? Well, sometimes no one apologizes, I guess). I NEED physical cues. I hate the unsettled feeling of an unresolved dispute, and it never feels done with on the net. Which is probably why I will rarely post my opinions on the MFU channels, despite that those who know me will agree I have opinions, and plenty of 'em.