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Rules of Engagement - a poll for readers and writers
I've been reading, and trying to write, in a new-to-me fandom. This, and my archiving of my MFU stuff on AO3, has made me think about something.
One of the things I like about LJ is that it makes actual comments about as easy as it's possible to make them barring being face to face with an author after you've finished a story (well, easier than that - what if you hated it?). One of the things I've observed in my own reading behavior in this "new" fandom is my own commenting. Now, I don't finish about 90 percent of the stories I start to read (this is true of any fandom). Of the ones I finish, I find most to be just OK (keep in mind this includes my own [see earlier poll] so I hope I don't sound too awful). Because of this, that "kudos" button is the easiest thing in the world. It sends an accurately mild (in terms of my time investment) "this was OK" message to the author.
I like it and I don't like it.
I like it because it's the exact right level of involvement for a story I only sorta liked. If I really like something I leave a comment, because if I really like something, there's always something I have to say about it.
It echoes the "like" button on FB. This is why I don't like it (yes, I'm a hypocrite. Or just human). One of the things I don't like about FB is the pretense it allows of intimacy. Of engagement. It's an extension of those Christmas form letters - "Dear INSERT NAME HERE" followed by some boasting. It (FB) allows people to pretend to maintain relationships without any of the actual (to my old-fashioned mind) maintenance of those relationships.
In this way the "kudos" button is the same; it permits readers to feel like they've "done their part" (I don't, for the record, think readers are required to do squat for writers - just so that's clear) without having actually troubled to give real feedback. Then again, do people use it because they can't think of what to say, because they're lazy, because they're busy, because they're intimidated - or because, like me, they don't really like most stories enough to feel they merit more than a lazy, in-passing thumbs up (again, I'm not finding fault with any of these approaches, just wondering)?
So, a poll. And, as always, please elaborate in comments. The way writers and readers think about stories is endlessly fascinating to me.
[Poll #1974799]
One of the things I like about LJ is that it makes actual comments about as easy as it's possible to make them barring being face to face with an author after you've finished a story (well, easier than that - what if you hated it?). One of the things I've observed in my own reading behavior in this "new" fandom is my own commenting. Now, I don't finish about 90 percent of the stories I start to read (this is true of any fandom). Of the ones I finish, I find most to be just OK (keep in mind this includes my own [see earlier poll] so I hope I don't sound too awful). Because of this, that "kudos" button is the easiest thing in the world. It sends an accurately mild (in terms of my time investment) "this was OK" message to the author.
I like it and I don't like it.
I like it because it's the exact right level of involvement for a story I only sorta liked. If I really like something I leave a comment, because if I really like something, there's always something I have to say about it.
It echoes the "like" button on FB. This is why I don't like it (yes, I'm a hypocrite. Or just human). One of the things I don't like about FB is the pretense it allows of intimacy. Of engagement. It's an extension of those Christmas form letters - "Dear INSERT NAME HERE" followed by some boasting. It (FB) allows people to pretend to maintain relationships without any of the actual (to my old-fashioned mind) maintenance of those relationships.
In this way the "kudos" button is the same; it permits readers to feel like they've "done their part" (I don't, for the record, think readers are required to do squat for writers - just so that's clear) without having actually troubled to give real feedback. Then again, do people use it because they can't think of what to say, because they're lazy, because they're busy, because they're intimidated - or because, like me, they don't really like most stories enough to feel they merit more than a lazy, in-passing thumbs up (again, I'm not finding fault with any of these approaches, just wondering)?
So, a poll. And, as always, please elaborate in comments. The way writers and readers think about stories is endlessly fascinating to me.
[Poll #1974799]
no subject
A comment requires having some feeling about a story, unless the reader just feels obligated to say something, sort of like looking at an ugly baby and exclaiming, "Well, that's a baby!". Not really what we're after.
That's true too - the sort of knee-jerk click. Yeah, I can see that. People feel obligated.
I understand that some people will feel I'm being a snob when I say not much that I read moves me. It's the truth. I don't go into a story with an attitude of "I'm going to be above this if it kills me." I love to get absorbed in a story and to wallow in it emotionally and intellectually and feel disappointed when it ends. I love to love what I read. But I'm old and I've read a lot and I know a lot, and it takes quite a bit to impress me. That wasn't something I did deliberately in order to lord it over people; it just happened.
As I said, my own work hardly makes me go "Wow!" I recognize that I'm, as I've said before, a workmanlike writer at best, and that's OK - I still enjoy writing and get joy from it, though I'm aware my stuff's not that good. But it takes more than workmanlike writing to get me excited as a reader. I have no intentions behind that fact, and I'm also a pretty poor liar in such circumstances, so silence is my best approach.
tired of the requirements to fawn over stories and shore up egos.
I don't agree that anyone is required to fawn over anything or shore up anyone's ego, but that, too, is my own personal approach to life. Other approaches work for other people. I have no truck with false praise, or people who insist that others stroke them for engaging in their hobbies (fandom has a few of those). None of us, I think, are on this earth in order to bolster someone else's ego. I think if a writer puts a story out there, readers' honest reaction is what it is, and readers shouldn't pretend it's something else - and writers should accept that and get on with their lives.
On that note, not taking it personally is, I think, a prerogative of age (I don't know how old you are - I suppose I'm speaking of myself). I've always had a strong ego and never needed the praise of strangers (or, really, of anyone else) to value the things I do. So I don't know if I could ever defend or really understand the idea that people need praise or are owed praise, especially for doing something they elected to do and that, as a rule, no one else asked for. It's nice when it comes, sure - I actually am human :-) - but in no way necessary for me. If it is necessary, or very important, to some folks, bless 'em and good luck. I won't start lying to them because they need to hear something I don't feel.
This is beside the point of the poll, of course, and nothing I haven't said before, but there you go. I do appreciate your comments - the other aspect of not taking things personally is I welcome all kinds of opinions here, even - gasp - those that differ from my own. I do find, though, that I'm misunderstood a lot (at least, by my own view!) when I say the things I say regarding writing and ego (I'm not saying you've done so - this is a general observation), so if I overexplain here, I apologize. :-)
Sometimes I don't know what to say or how to phrase something that should sound complimentary but somehow can't.
I think this is very common, and understandable.
And I don't think (again, this is me) you should be saddened when people don't comment on your stuff. I've been in the same boat of not getting comments from people whose work I really admire in fandom (not so much this one). My assumption, since they're generally pretty nice people (insofar as one can judge online!) is that my stuff isn't good enough to interest them, and you know, I'm OK with that. I guess if I thought I was a really good writer I'd resent their silence, but I figure people that good must have very refined tastes and I'm not surprised I don't measure up. :-) (I guess I'm saying it's OK to not be a genius. :-))