Be afraid

[leethet]

Like all my fanfic thoughts, this is probably a dead horse kind of thing. But I was thinking that in gen hurt/comfort, there is a strong erotic element. It's not exactly sexual, but it's usually extremely physical -- much touching, much physical trust and intimacy. And I wonder if it's as close as nonslashers will get to slash. Any and all thoughts on the topic are welcome here.

Comments

[leethet.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's a different creature, often, in slash -- I'm sort of generalizing on the fly, here, but in slash it's but one of many scenarios in which the characters might have sex (I agree with the silliness of stories where the hurt partner is all but dead until the "healing sex" begins), but in gen, specifically, it's as if it's as close as the story can come to ... not to slash, because I do not think of gen as a sort of substitute for/pale imitation of slash, but to physical intimacy, to that visceral expression of affection that is so satisfying. (I hope I'm not too incoherent; I've had my scotch and it's bed time, really).

[st-crispins.livejournal.com]

Unless someone is really fascinated by torture side, I do believe that the point of h/c is about emotional intimacy and has a kind of eroticism (visceral physicality?) to it and have said so in the past in terms of women looking for feelings of nurturance/being nurtured to within fiction. (I'd have to go rummage through my lj to find it).

Like you, I don't believe most gen writers are writing it because they're afraid or uncomfortable with writing sex between the partners. Some folks are nervous about writing sex ---period --- even when they're writing slash so that's not where the correlation lies. (Hard to believe for slash writers, I know, but the possibility of sex between partners may not even *occur* to a gen writer)

However, I do think a lot of fan writing has a strong emphasis (and one might argue *over* emphasis) on the emotional side of a story. As slash writers have argued to me, it's not the sex but the intimacy that's important. H/c is steeped in intimacy so there's definitely a relation.

Personally, I'd rather read a decent slash story than one that is specifically written as h/c. In RL, when I'm hurt, I would rather withdraw than seek so-called comfort in whatever form.

To me, even fictionally, h/c works like this: "Hurt... and leave me the hell alone." :)

[leethet.livejournal.com]

The funny thing is, I'm the same way. When I'm not well I'd want to kill anyone who fussed over me (except that I'm not well enough to do it). I suppose because I grew up without fussing. I know it's meant well, but it's an irritant at the time. However, I'd call one guy dragging his injured partner out of the line of fire and holding a hand to a bleeding wound until help arrives H/C. Emergency H/C, and grudging H/C. That's what I like. :) The tucking in of covers, etc., is OK if not overdone. If it goes a little too mommy-ish, I admit I don't care for it.

[st-crispins.livejournal.com]

one guy dragging his injured partner out of the line of fire and holding a hand to a bleeding wound until help arrives H/C.

See, I wouldn't call this H/C. I'd call it necessary. :)

If it goes a little too mommy-ish, I admit I don't care for it.

Yeah, that's pretty much where I am. And I really can't abide one of the guys 'tucking in' the other.

[leethet.livejournal.com]

one guy dragging his injured partner out of the line of fire and holding a hand to a bleeding wound until help arrives H/C.

See, I wouldn't call this H/C. I'd call it necessary. :)

I guess it's just my version of H/C. :)

[st-crispins.livejournal.com]

Let me add that in addition to nurturing/being nurtured, I think the other issue is vulnerability. for wahtever reason, a lot of female fan writers (and maybe women in general?) really get off on the vulnerability aspect.

Here's one entry I found in which I discussed it:
http://st-crispins.livejournal.com/85649.html

Compare this to guy writers (fan and otherwise) who get off on the fact that the hero is *invulnerable* or seemingly so. It's the power and the *lack* of weak moments that they treasure.

Which says to me that men and women interpret power in different ways.

[leethet.livejournal.com]

I'll try to avoid a gender discussion here (not that I don't enjoy them -- so much so I feel compelled to say that perhaps women wouldn't treasure those moments of male vulnerability so much if men didn't treasure pretending to be emotionless macho machines so much *g*) and say I would in general agree. Not that women like weak men (unless they're, you know, that kind of woman) in general, but they do like to know that their man isn't a bulletproof creature of iron and gears. Also -- an aspect that I think is important -- everyone, male or female, likes to feel needed by those they care about. That is empowering whether you're a man or a woman.

I was thinking whether I put myself in the nurturer or nurturee POV as a writer and reader, and it's usually the former, which I guess makes sense.

[st-crispins.livejournal.com]

Not that women like weak men

No, they don't. But what is weak to one person is lovely and warm to another.

I don't know if the gender discussion can be avoided because I do believe, for whatever reason, often women find pleasure in things that men do not and vice versa.

And yes, that's an overgeneralization coming from a woman who likes the 'man's gotta do what he's gotta do' type situations and blowing things up good.

But mostly, I think, again for whatever reason, women find great pleasure in intimacy with other people no matter what the age, gender, etc. of that person and that's what I think many readers are looking for.

I recently posted two little drabbles about Solo's thoughts on the utility of vulerability and intimacy here:

http://st-crispins.livejournal.com/181746.html