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This has been said before
10 December 2003 11:45 amEven by me but I'm thinking about issues of trust and power because of the discussions on the MFU slash channels (and because of RL thing). It's an interesting insecurity that some people have that makes them need to have power over others in a relationship; trust is a crucial part of that. To some people, if you won't surrender your power/safety to them, it's proof you don't trust them, and their self-esteem (and perhaps their trust of you) plummets.
For a spy, trust is crucial, power is a constant issue, and I'm firmly on the side of the sexual divide that says NS/IK trust each other wholly and are as equal as two men so different can ever be. I've heard the arguments that as thrill seekers and powerful men in their own right, they would bring those traits to bed with them and use them with (I'd call it "against") each other, but I just don't buy it. I don't buy men who deal with force and distrust and lies and the constant threat of pain and death (perhaps a thrill, but -- unless the guys are insane, which I don't see in my little fantasy world though some have written them so -- the "thrill" of being hurt must pall) bringing all the worst of their daily world to bed with them as a toy. Mind, it's there, but more as something to be set aside for the novelty and warmth of love and trust than as something to be wallowed in when it can safely be fled.
Then again, maybe it's part of my theory that most people just don't wish to bring their work home with them. I know there are exceptions to that (hell, I'm willing to edit people for free, and what is that if not bringing my work home?) but when one's work is UNCLE ... I just think they would go mad if they didn't have a safe and good place to go sometimes. That would be, of course, each other.
I suppose I also see the guys as too sane and sensible to put up with being manipulated and emotionally abused by a lover. If one posits that NS/IK are basically good, and basically sane -- what good and sane man, however much a thrill seeker, would put up with such a shit of a lover? Why not walk? I don't see either of them as masochists. Being a white knight may necessitate a sort of masochism, but to save the world, not just to get off.
This is probably just my boring white bread nature showing through; I've heard some folks say that sort of thing adds spice to a relationship. And I wouldn't suggest the guys would have a perfect relationship; I doubt one exists in the real world, and if one did in fiction it'd be godawful dull to read about. But when I see behavior that to me is abusive (I was going to say "smacks of abuse"...hell, shoulda gone for the chuckle there) either emotionally or physically, I think "The person who does this is a bastard, not someone I want to know or read about, and the person who puts up with it is an idiot and needs a smack in the head to knock some of the masochism out of him." I just don't want to read about them. I suppose I prefer escapism. :)
For a spy, trust is crucial, power is a constant issue, and I'm firmly on the side of the sexual divide that says NS/IK trust each other wholly and are as equal as two men so different can ever be. I've heard the arguments that as thrill seekers and powerful men in their own right, they would bring those traits to bed with them and use them with (I'd call it "against") each other, but I just don't buy it. I don't buy men who deal with force and distrust and lies and the constant threat of pain and death (perhaps a thrill, but -- unless the guys are insane, which I don't see in my little fantasy world though some have written them so -- the "thrill" of being hurt must pall) bringing all the worst of their daily world to bed with them as a toy. Mind, it's there, but more as something to be set aside for the novelty and warmth of love and trust than as something to be wallowed in when it can safely be fled.
Then again, maybe it's part of my theory that most people just don't wish to bring their work home with them. I know there are exceptions to that (hell, I'm willing to edit people for free, and what is that if not bringing my work home?) but when one's work is UNCLE ... I just think they would go mad if they didn't have a safe and good place to go sometimes. That would be, of course, each other.
I suppose I also see the guys as too sane and sensible to put up with being manipulated and emotionally abused by a lover. If one posits that NS/IK are basically good, and basically sane -- what good and sane man, however much a thrill seeker, would put up with such a shit of a lover? Why not walk? I don't see either of them as masochists. Being a white knight may necessitate a sort of masochism, but to save the world, not just to get off.
This is probably just my boring white bread nature showing through; I've heard some folks say that sort of thing adds spice to a relationship. And I wouldn't suggest the guys would have a perfect relationship; I doubt one exists in the real world, and if one did in fiction it'd be godawful dull to read about. But when I see behavior that to me is abusive (I was going to say "smacks of abuse"...hell, shoulda gone for the chuckle there) either emotionally or physically, I think "The person who does this is a bastard, not someone I want to know or read about, and the person who puts up with it is an idiot and needs a smack in the head to knock some of the masochism out of him." I just don't want to read about them. I suppose I prefer escapism. :)
