This is why

[leethet]

I would hate to actually be a fly on the wall when others are discussing my stories. I'm dabbling in another (very large) fandom. Through various sources I've discovered, to my surprise and delight, that I've been rec'd on a few sites. I also discovered one person who HATES the story that was rec'd. This was quite a blow to my swollen ego, and I realized that people almost never say anything really bad -- or should I say critical -- about my writing. That caused me to dwell on how a person would feel if they never got praise and ONLY got reactions such as I generated in this certain reader (and mind you, her criticisms were totally valid...ouch ouch ouch). I'm pretty comfy with my workmanlike writing skills; that is, I know I'm not great but I know I don't suck, and when it comes to fanfic I'm content. And her remark still rankled. I think my conclusion is that I need my stuff criticized more so I'm more comfortable with opinions other than "great." I also wonder how many people who'd be perfectly able to offer those opinions (in MFU, since that's where the bulk of my stuff is) are remaining silent for fear of offending or of simply being ignored or insulted. This has been discussed in many forums in MFU (and probably in this other huge fandom as well) but despite a writer saying "Go ahead, let me have it" people rarely do it. I find myself wondering if a part of me isn't grateful for that -- but that's the sucky cowardly part of me. I prefer the truth, even when it hurts. This is probably mostly because in the final analysis I'll write what I want and not really care if people like it or hate it. All the same, I feel bad in a kind of abstract way that this one reader wasted her time on my story. I know how it feels to read something I dislike so much I want to email the writer a bitchslap. :) Sigh. I'm comforted that the voice of the hater was in the minority (at least the minority of the vocal people...how can a person ever know what all those silent readers are thinking?). So I'm left, again, wondering if it's not really better to simply stay out of the places where one's writing is discussed (at least in fandom) in order to not feel influenced by that which should really not influence one.

Comments

Re: criticism, etc.

[leethet.livejournal.com]

(Are we getting twenty per cent feedback? ten per cent? one per cent?)

This is the sort of thing I wonder, not because I have an urgent need to know precisely how much I'm adored or hated, but out of a rather strong curiosity to know the truth behind the assumptions. That is, there are theories out there about the proportion of LOCs to readers and stuff, and I always question the facts behind "statistics," you know? The thing that stopped me a while back was Clare being kind enough to say I was a popular MFU writer. I appreciated the kind remark, but I wondered "How can she know?" You know? At what point does a person cross that line from not popular to popular (which one would guess means "liked by a fair proportion of readers" -- and then, what's a fair proportion?), and on the internet, how can we know (unless, I guess, there's a poll, and even then, polls are only representative of those who respond, and the phrasing of the question matters enormously. If you took a poll of the entire U.S. asking "have you ever murdered someone" we'd get a WAY lower murder rate than this country actually has)? Then again, it may be a purely subjective response, since the word "popular" has no number attached to it, and that's fine too, but I had an image in my head of X = MFU fanfic readers, Y = the subset who likes my stuff, Z = the subset who don't...you know, actual numbers, which as far as I know no one has any real grasp on. And it made me curious about those numbers. Maybe I just like pie charts? I think I have the soul of a bean counter. I like hard facts (pretty funny for a fantasy fiction writer who HATES research).



Oh, and I would love to be a fly on the wall at a discussion of my fic.

Oh man. You're braver than I. Remember if you're a fly on the wall the critiquers don't know you're there and are not obligated to spare your feelings, even so far as being civil. *g*

Re: criticism, etc.

[(Anonymous)]

>>Oh, and I would love to be a fly on the wall at a discussion of my fic.

>Oh man. You're braver than I. Remember if you're a fly on the wall the critiquers don't know you're there and are not obligated to spare your feelings, even so far as being civil. *g*

I guess I would dismiss anything that was mean or personal as invalid, but would value any thoughtful comment. I know you would too. But you've also been through a lot of workshops, and know what goes on.


Nat

Re: criticism, etc.

[leethet.livejournal.com]

Then again, I've been called a bitch to my face in a conference (referring to my critiquing, not my writing) but somehow it didn't offend me as much as it might've. I suppose because I was used to it and knew where it was coming from. :)
But what I was thinking is it can distract from the possible validity of the comments, or the writer's ability to process said comments, if they're delivered rudely.