This is why

[leethet]

I would hate to actually be a fly on the wall when others are discussing my stories. I'm dabbling in another (very large) fandom. Through various sources I've discovered, to my surprise and delight, that I've been rec'd on a few sites. I also discovered one person who HATES the story that was rec'd. This was quite a blow to my swollen ego, and I realized that people almost never say anything really bad -- or should I say critical -- about my writing. That caused me to dwell on how a person would feel if they never got praise and ONLY got reactions such as I generated in this certain reader (and mind you, her criticisms were totally valid...ouch ouch ouch). I'm pretty comfy with my workmanlike writing skills; that is, I know I'm not great but I know I don't suck, and when it comes to fanfic I'm content. And her remark still rankled. I think my conclusion is that I need my stuff criticized more so I'm more comfortable with opinions other than "great." I also wonder how many people who'd be perfectly able to offer those opinions (in MFU, since that's where the bulk of my stuff is) are remaining silent for fear of offending or of simply being ignored or insulted. This has been discussed in many forums in MFU (and probably in this other huge fandom as well) but despite a writer saying "Go ahead, let me have it" people rarely do it. I find myself wondering if a part of me isn't grateful for that -- but that's the sucky cowardly part of me. I prefer the truth, even when it hurts. This is probably mostly because in the final analysis I'll write what I want and not really care if people like it or hate it. All the same, I feel bad in a kind of abstract way that this one reader wasted her time on my story. I know how it feels to read something I dislike so much I want to email the writer a bitchslap. :) Sigh. I'm comforted that the voice of the hater was in the minority (at least the minority of the vocal people...how can a person ever know what all those silent readers are thinking?). So I'm left, again, wondering if it's not really better to simply stay out of the places where one's writing is discussed (at least in fandom) in order to not feel influenced by that which should really not influence one.

Comments

Yeah...

[leethet.livejournal.com]

Should you stick around in a forum where someone doesn't like your writing? You should recognize -- when you can get past the uncomfortable awkwardness -- that by inducing strong feelings in this reader (well, strong enough to write about them) you have been successful as a writer.

Well, it's not as if anyone's objections would stop me writing. :) Whether or not I write (anything, fanfic or original stuff) is really irrespective of others' opinions. And only wholesale hatred would stop me posting something I felt like sharing, because if everyone hated my stuff, heck, I'd keep it to myself. Why waste the time? :) I post in the hope someone will be entertained, as I've been entertained by others' stories, not out of a particularly deep need for kissies (not that I mind them!). I think the thing that's making me reflective here most is something I've puzzled before: you really cannot know what "the world" or "the readership" thinks of your stuff. This is part and parcel of a philosophy of mine (I've just realized!) that one never knows others as well as one thinks one does. We do so much self deceit and so much presenting of what we wish to present to others that when the truth (good or bad) gets spilt it can often be shockingly at odds with what has been perceived as truth.
Not that I imagined my stuff universally loved, I hasten to add. *g* I think it's more that I figure my stuff's so damn' bland, how could anyone work up the level of hatred I seem to've seen there? I'm puzzled about that, so it kinda nags me, as though there's something else underlying it. Hard to imagine since I'm a stranger to her and not really involved in the fandom.
Hm...you type long enough, you hit on what's bothering you. That's it. I'm puzzled by the vitriol, not the dislike of the story. And the nature of the internet and the reading of strangers' opinions and stories is that it's not so easy to approach a person and say "Expound, por favor."
And I'm with you, Jane and Grac, on the whole "no one forced her." :) That's generally my response when someone goes on and on about how they hated a story (usually not one of mine, thankfully, but it's bound to happen eventually *g*).

Re: Yeah...

[janeterry.livejournal.com]

Isn't it nice to know that your stuff *isn't* that bland?

Jane